Last week, I returned from a cross-country wedding feeling completely drained——physically, socially, emotionally—but I still had plenty of things to do. The moment I parked my suitcase inside my house, a mental work and household to-do list was formed: work, laundry, groceries, friend catch-ups and events, a conference in town. Everything felt urgent. And I felt... exhausted.
Anxiety swelled as I thought about the week ahead and the idea of continuing to balance multiple priorities.
So, I asked myself: How can I be less?
I’ve been burned out before, and based on our recent survey data, so have many of you. A whopping 44% of you say you’re always burned out, and another 40% say you often are. For the vast majority (71%), this feeling has lasted not just for days or weeks—but years. I hate that for every single one of you.
First, let me say: It’s not your fault. In many ways, our highly individualistic and competitive society is primed for burnout. Survival in itself is stressful, but without a community or support system, it often feels downright impossible.
Yet the reason I rarely burn out anymore is because I’ve learned to be strategic about rest and recovery—and to be honest with myself and others about what I can handle. That starts with planning to be less, even when my calendar is booked and busy, until I’m ready to be and give more of myself.
This is another way of saying that I like to lower expectations, but in practice, my idea of “being less” entails carefully removing certain drains on my energy in order to limit multitasking and show up in a more baseline way, something I refer to when talking with friends, or even sometimes my boss, as me being “low energy.”
Think of it as realizing you’re juggling three balls, then quietly removing one. You’re still juggling, but with less difficulty. Just let yourself be less.
Last week, here’s how that mindset played out in real life:
1. Work and home are competing for my attention.
I’ve just returned from traveling and need to unpack and catch up on work. I feel stressed and distracted by both.
Being less: Work pays the bills, so that’s my priority. I’ll wait to do laundry until Saturday when I can give it my full attention. Multitasking won’t serve me right now.
2. I’ve committed to a conference—but I’m wiped.
This conference is important to me, but I feel behind on everything and drained from all the socializing.
Being less: I’ll attend just two or three meaningful sessions. I’ll simplify the experience by wearing my hair up or in a style that lasts a few days, pulling outfit ideas from my photo album of favorites on my phone, rescheduling non-urgent meetings, and skipping networking. That’s enough.
3. I want to support my friend at their big event, but I’m still pretty zonked.
I’m still feeling over-socialized, but I’ve committed to attending a function for a close friend.
Being less: I’ll arrive late to the welcome reception to downsize the socializing to a more manageable amount, and I’ll plan on letting other folks drive conversation while I’m there. What matters is that I’m supporting a friend. I can simply exist.
4. Close friends want to schedule catch-up calls—but I’m not ready.
I’ve gotten some lovely texts from people asking about my trip, but I don’t have the time or energy for a full catch-up.
Being less: I’ll text back and say I need a few days to recover, then suggest a call next Monday or Tuesday. My people love me—even and especially this tired version of me.
5. I have no groceries and no energy to shop.
My fridge is empty and the thought of grocery shopping feels like too much.
Being less: I’ll swing by the store for ready-to-eat meals, bagged salads, and breakfast staples. I’ll do a proper grocery run on Sunday, when I feel more recharged.
6. I’m tired and struggling to rejoin my routine.
Everything feels a little harder than usual.
Being less: I’ll treat this as a transition week. That means shorter walks, ready-made meals, outfit repeats, skipping workouts, sleeping in, and more phone-free time. No big deal.
Being less doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re listening to your body and prioritizing your needs. What are some ways that you can be less this week?
