Ask a Recruiter: I’m Scared to Take the Next Step in My Career. How Can I Overcome Fear?

Let’s discuss fear. In your experience, what fears keep job seekers from achieving their goals or highest potential? 

Ah, the big F word. Fear is a challenge for even the best and the brightest. I’d say the biggest fears I witness and hear often are: 

1. Fear of success: Not knowing what will happen if/when they are successful in a new role, new company, new environment, with the event or project, etc. It’s the unfamiliar feeling that may come with success that is often feared. That can range from more pressure, higher expectations and more responsibilities, to feeling like there’s another mountain to climb or that they don’t have the right support system to manage success. 
2. Fear of failure: No one wants to fail. It’s like the worst thing that can happen in so many people’s eyes, but that’s because they haven't figured out or grasped the true understanding of failure. Failure means you tried something new, you stepped outside of your comfort zone, you took a leap of faith, you went against the norm and perhaps it didn't work out, but I can bet most people that have failed learned something from it. That’s what it’s all about. You learn what not to do next and what to keep trying with a twist.
3. Fear of embarrassment: This often goes hand in hand with the fear of failure. It’s embarrassing to fail, it’s embarrassing to not reach a goal, it’s embarrassing for a project to not end as planned. Fair enough. With that embarrassment comes a sense of shame and perhaps guilt.
4. Fear of not being good enough: As some people like to term it, the “imposter syndrome.” Honestly, I think it’s just a matter of not seeing an example of someone like you doing it or not having a coach or someone to guide you on a journey of the unknown. The best has a circle of people supporting them along the way. Every one of us is good enough and more.  

How can you learn to overcome these fears?

There are ways to overcome these fears: 

1. Face them head-on. Write down what your fears are, the why behind them and then write down all the things that will go right if you face that fear. 

2. Reach out to like-minded individuals and those that are where you want to go. Ask them how they got there, what their failures were, how they achieved success and share with them what your fears are. Terrifying to admit them, right?! However, if you say them out loud, sometimes the universe gives you the encouragement you need to overcome them. I guarantee the person that has reached the level you are striving for had one of those same fears. They can share how they overcame them. 

3. Find an accountability partner. I’d recommend a career/performance coach or a mentor/sponsor. Some may choose to have a friend who is an accountability partner, and that’s totally fine. Just make sure they are motivated to hold you accountable and vice versa. As you spend time with your accountability partner, prioritize doing the things you are most afraid of first and discuss how it made you feel. Putting action behind intention is the way to get over your fears and reach your highest potential.  

Fear leads us to this question: How can women determine if they’re staying in a role out of comfort or fear, or if they’re there because it aligns with their long-term goals?

I’ve had conversations with many women who may be interested in a promotion or a new role but feel like the increased responsibility will be too much to handle. Reasons for not pursuing another role often include things like time constraints, energy constraints, increased demand, lack of at-home support, and lack of proper support at work. Some things I challenge women to answer are: 

1. If there is a role you are considering, can you DO the job? Meaning, do you have the skills and will to be successful?

2. If you didn’t have X responsibilities outside of work, would you still say no to considering a different role? 

3. What support would you need to perform a different role successfully?

4. What are you afraid of? (This one is KEY. Too often, your major fear is that you’ll stay put in a role you’ve outgrown)

5. If I asked your previous manager/your partner/your colleague if you would be great for X role, would they say yes, or no? Why?

6. What do you love about your current role and what would you change if you could? What are you excited about learning or doing in your next role?

7. If you stepped into a different role and decided it wasn’t the right fit, does that make you a failure?

These questions are all quite different, but I think it helps you think about whether you’re holding yourself back—if it’s all mental, if it’s a matter of lack of skill, if it's a matter of fear, and how you can overcome it.