“Did I clean up the pancake batter mess from breakfast?”
Hi Joan, I hope this email finds you well.
“Will I have time to wash everyone’s sheets after work tonight?”
I’m happy to report we exceeded Q3 sales goals by 25 percent.
“Do the kids need a packed lunch for their field trip tomorrow?”
Christy, can we please push the deck deadline by a week?
“Have I made that dentist appointment yet?”
If thoughts like these frequently pop into your head during the workday, pulling your focus in every direction, you may be struggling with the “mental load.” This constant balancing act of work and personal responsibilities can feel overwhelming, especially for women who statistically juggle more than their fair share.
In fact, when we surveyed our audience, nearly 60 percent of women shared that personal responsibilities—like household tasks and family obligations—often distract them from work. But managing the mental load isn’t about erasing distractions altogether. It’s about creating systems and strategies that allow you to navigate these competing priorities with greater ease and intention.
From shifting your mindset and identifying your “most important tasks” (MITs) to carving out intentional breaks, below we share expert-backed approaches to help you reclaim your focus. By quieting the noise and prioritizing what matters most, you can take control of your mental load and find a better balance between work and life.
Read more: Ways Women Work: How Emotional Labor Weighs On Women & 10 Ways to Ease the Burden
5 tips for compartmentalizing the mental load
Compartmentalization is a mental strategy that helps separate different areas of life, allowing you to give focused attention to each one. By “compartmentalizing” personal responsibilities and work tasks, you can prevent distractions and perform better in each area. Here are some tips on how to break up your day.
1. Set consistent start and end times for your workday
“One of the best strategies for compartmentalizing personal responsibilities from work tasks—especially in remote or hybrid environments—is to plan your day intentionally and try to make the process enjoyable,” says career and human resources consultant Jennifer Smith. “Start by setting work hours and boundaries, then map out your daily priorities.” A consistent schedule signals to your brain that it’s time to focus on work during those hours and to switch off when the day is done. For remote workers, this might mean having a dedicated workspace where you “enter” work mode at the start of your day and “leave” it when you finish. For office workers, it might mean committing to a commute ritual, such as listening to a podcast.
2. Use planners and digital tools to schedule your tasks
A planner can be your best ally in managing the mental load. By scheduling personal tasks like errands, appointments, or household chores outside of your core work hours, you can minimize their mental intrusion during the day. Tools like Google Calendar, Notion, or Trello can help organize your tasks visually and send reminders so you don’t need to rely on memory alone. “Use a pen you love and sticky notes to visualize your schedule and create a sense of structure,” Smith says. “To make it fun, turn it into a ritual. Set up your favorite music playlist, brew a cup of your favorite coffee or tea, and take a moment to align your mindset.”
3. Embrace “buffer time”
Incorporating 15–30 minutes of buffer time between activities allows your brain to shift gears smoothly. For example, after a focused morning work session, you might take a brief walk, meditate, or even tidy your workspace to prepare for personal responsibilities or meetings. This buffer prevents the mental jolt of jumping directly from one task to another and creates space to reflect and reset.
4. Batch similar tasks together
Instead of bouncing between unrelated activities, group similar tasks to maintain focus and flow. For instance, dedicate the first hour of your morning to answering emails and the last 30 minutes of your day to household chores like meal prep or tidying up. “Grouping similar tasks together can maximize focus and establish balance, reduce overwhelm, and make your day feel more aligned with your energy and priorities,” Smith says.
5. Try a “mind cleanse”
“A ‘mind cleanse’ is a quick and intentional way to clear mental clutter and create space for focus,” Smith says. “Start by taking just five minutes to pause and write down any distracting thoughts swirling in your head—whether they're to-dos, worries, or random ideas. Think of it as transferring everything from your mind to paper. You can set it aside once it's written down, knowing it's captured and won't be forgotten.”
For an extra layer of focus, Smith pairs mind cleanses with another mindfulness technique: “Try the 'STOP' method—I heard this on a podcast and loved it. Stop what you're doing, Take a deep breath, Observe your thoughts and feelings, and Proceed with clarity and intention. This combination of writing and mindfulness helps release distractions and creates a calming reset, allowing you to approach your work with focus.”
If compartmentalization doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. According to Jess Wass, CEO and founder of transformational coaching company Reworkit, adopting a mindset shift around your time can be key: “When you work remotely or in a hybrid workplace, it's important to remind yourself that all time is equal. It doesn't really matter if you do your personal tasks at 5 a.m., 12 p.m., or 6 p.m. All time is equal. The freedom to get things done whenever, as long as they’re done the day you assigned them to yourself, can be quite freeing.”
For those who work in-person, she notes similar principles still apply. You can be mindful of what time you arrive and leave the office and still take a 30-minute lunch break and knock out a few personal errands—maybe that just means you stay 30 minutes later at the end of the day to finish up your work activities. “It [shouldn’t] matter as long as you get done what you say you will get done and meet the deadlines given to you,” Wass says.
The power of the MIT list
One of the most effective tools for managing mental load, according to Wass, is the MIT (most important things) system, which, contrary to mile long to-do lists, prioritizes the top three most critical tasks of the day. “At the start of the day, ask yourself, ‘What are the three most important things I need to get done today?’ she says. “I like to include both work and personal priorities on the same list so I remind myself that my human needs—like scheduling a doctor's appointment—are just as important as my work needs.”
A cap of three priorities forces focus and creates clarity. “When another thought or competing priority comes up, ask yourself if that task is more or less important than the three items currently on your list,” Wass says. “You have to ruthlessly prioritize which creates focus and helps when you can evaluate the intruding thoughts of personal to-do items and find that they aren't as important as some of your other items. That reality check is helpful,” Wass says.
If an item doesn't make it onto your MIT list, Wass says to add it to a "backlog list," basically a catch-all for anything else that comes up in the day. “Sometimes, we just need to capture the intruding thought by writing it down in order to let it go,” she says. “While your MIT list should be on a Post-It note in front of you all day long, the backlog list should only be opened when you need to add an item and then close it out—it should not be one of the 50+ tabs open on your computer.”
The system is particularly helpful for Wass’ coaching clients with ADHD because it helps anchor focus when they get distracted. “The goal isn’t to be perfect and never get distracted; it's to have a clear list that will help you get back on track quicker when that inevitably occurs,” she says. “Not losing the whole day to low-priority tasks or other people's priorities is a huge win for many clients.”
At the end of the day, you’ll focus on ‘outputs’—what you accomplished—rather than ‘inputs,’ like hours worked. That’s one of the technique’s biggest benefits: knowing when you’ve done “enough.” “When we have these long to-do lists, we feel like we’re constantly drowning and never have permission to be done for the day or week,” Wass says. “That feeling contributes to burnout both at work and at home.”
Instead of dwelling on what’s left undone, celebrate what you’ve achieved. “This helps shed the mental load we carry around of all the things we haven't done,” Wass says. “The MIT system embraces positive psychology principles to help us focus on what we have accomplished.” Plus, focusing on your accomplishments can generate momentum you can carry into the next day.
Embracing breaks to recharge and refocus
Although it may seem counterintuitive, taking a break enhances your productivity. Wass underscores the importance of understanding and respecting your energy limits: “We often think when we have a lot to do, that we can't stop for even a minute. However, this is counterproductive because our energy is essentially a law of diminishing returns. We get less and less productive as our energy wanes. When we push through a task instead of taking a break, what could have taken us 20 minutes to complete takes us two hours.”
Smith says if you’re unable to concentrate or stay on task, frequently switching between tasks without making meaningful progress on any of them, or feeling short-tempered or emotionally drained by small frustrations, it’s time to take a break. Similarly, if you’re feeling physically fatigued, experiencing eye strain, neck, or back pain, or have tension headaches or disrupted sleep, it’s time to step away for a second.
To help Wass get more done and end the day with more energy, she incorporates two “permissions” into her day-to-day life:
1. An hour-long lunch break
“This break in the middle of my day allows me to shift tasks mentally and recharge my batteries so that I can tackle the back half of my day with more focus,” Wass says. “It also helps me break my day into two parts, whereby I usually dedicate the first half of my day to deep work tasks, and then the second half is more meeting heavy. That break allows me to switch contexts with more ease while also refilling my energy tank. We are humans, not robots, and need to fuel our bodies so we have the energy and mind space to engage in difficult tasks.”
2. Context switch breaks
“If I’m dragging trying to complete a work task, I allow myself to take a ‘context switch break’ and complete a personal MIT item in order to shift my energy. Often, that helps me recharge and refocus on the work task afterward,” says Wass. “We get a dopamine rush whenever we complete a to-do item, whether it's work or personal related, so if we’re stuck in a work task and losing steam, getting a quick win somewhere else can give us a slight boost that allows us to refocus on the work task. My day isn't done until all my priorities are completed, so it doesn't really matter whether I schedule that doctor's appointment at 1:30 p.m. or 7:30 p.m.”
Read more: Want to Feel Rejuvenated? Take Time Off Work
If you experience guilt or stress when taking a break…
Smith says to reframe how you view breaks and productivity:
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“Recognize the value of breaks. Stepping away from work isn't a sign of slacking; it's essential to maintaining focus and energy. Remind yourself that by taking a break, you're ultimately setting yourself up to be more productive and effective when you return.”
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“Instead of thinking, 'I'm falling behind,' try thinking, ‘I'm taking care of what's important right now.’ Acknowledge that your personal tasks are part of your overall wellbeing, directly supporting your ability to perform at work.”
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“Scheduling time for personal tasks can help you feel in control. Whether it's 15 minutes to run a quick errand or a longer lunch to handle responsibilities, having a plan ensures you manage both work and personal priorities.”
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“Focus on results, not hours. Productivity isn't about clocking every minute at your desk. If your work is getting done and you're meeting your goals, taking time for personal needs is perfectly valid.”
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“Give yourself grace. Guilt often stems from unrealistic expectations of doing it all. Cut yourself some slack—taking care of yourself and your personal life makes you better equipped to flourish at work.”
“If the mental load continues to feel overwhelming, it might be worth having an honest conversation with a manager, partner, or trusted colleague to explore ways to adjust your workload or get additional support,” Smith says.
Read more: How Can We Break Free of Toxic Productivity?
