New to parenthood or thinking of having kids one day? Take it from these working moms: Accept all of the help you can get. Balancing your career and your family, while also setting aside time for yourself, is a challenge of the highest order, and even a few words of wisdom can give you the push you need to make it through another workday.
Ahead of Mother’s Day, we asked moms at our partner companies what advice they’d give other working parents about juggling it all. These five messages send a clear message about what moms need most in order to enjoy the best of both worlds.
Read more: 25 Best Jobs for Moms, As Rated by Working Moms (2022)
5 messages every working parent needs to hear
1. Ask for what you want and need as a working parent.
“Find a company that treats you right! Don't feel that you need to lower your standards. You're worth it, and you're doing a great job!”
—Jordan Remmes, Digital Analytics Consultant, InfoTrust
“Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and what you need to make your work fit into your life. If you don't ask for it, oftentimes a company won't think to offer. I.e. If you care about always doing school pick-up, maybe meetings can be moved around to make that happen.”
—Megan Berry, VP of Product, Octane AI
“Be transparent with your manager in terms of what you need as a parent to do your best at work.”
—Payal Sahay, Engineering, Buzzer
2. Set boundaries…
“I've found it useful to set aside time every evening that is strictly for my family, and put my work devices away! For me, it’s between when I pick up my kids at 5:30 p.m. to 30 minutes after I put them down—and that 30-minute break at the end is to recharge, catch up with my husband—anything non-kid, non-work-related! At Nugget, our team really prioritizes the importance of spending quality time with family, and my team knows that if anything urgent comes up then, I will either respond afterward, or they can make those decisions without me.”
—María López-May, VP, Marketing & Brand Management, Nugget
3. …but don’t forget how intertwined work and life can be.
“It is hard, and you're not alone. The imposter syndrome of not being a ‘good parent’ and/or not being a ‘good employee’ is very real. Keep pursuing quality over quantity with both.”
—McKenna Faber, Senior Data Engineer, Buzzer
“Minimize the amount of change happening at once and automatically create more peace in the home. Before accepting a challenging role, project, or promotion, think about the upcoming transitions/milestones for your children. Are they entering kindergarten or middle/high school? Every new transition creates a new boundary. When we’re wrapped in our own transition, we miss out on precious or pivotal parenting moments.”
—Kelah Raymond, Head of People & Talent, Buzzer
“Think ‘work-life integration’, not ‘balance.’”
—Fharzana Elankumaran, Product Manager, Supernatural
Read more: Why Companies Should Hire Moms, According to Moms
4. Take care of yourself.
“You can do it! Demonstrating good work habits is a tremendous example to your children. Dig deep, ask for advice/help. Take care of yourself. It’s hard to take care of others if you don't. This doesn't mean spending lots of money. An immaculate house is a sign of a misspent life. A favorite Mother Teresa quote: ‘I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.’”
—Beth Mills, Process Engineer, Ursa Major
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help or take a break. Balancing working full time on top of raising a little one is not easy. It’s important to find balance and know when you’re reaching your limit. I'm so grateful to have a team that has been so generous if I’ve ever needed to step away for a few hours to tend to my daughter or take a day off for my mental health. You are never a burden on anyone when you need help, as those around you are here to support you.”
—Jessica Shaver, Sr. UX Designer II, CrowdStrike
5. Be honest and authentic at work and at home.
“Don't be afraid to speak up when tending to your family. It's helpful for others to relate and know what it's like to be a working parent. And if you're upper management, it's important to lead by example.”
—Angie Sanders, Sr. iOS Developer, Penn Interactive Ventures
“If COVID has taught us one thing, it is to bring your authentic self to the workplace. For many of us, that has meant that our colleagues have been exposed to our family, whether it be in Zoom meetings or watching you wave goodbye to them on their way out. Being a parent for most people is the most important thing they will do in their lives, and when it comes to juggling work and life, family life should be elevated, and not pushed in the background. Combining work and parenthood is difficult, let's not kid ourselves. The truth is that you need to be organized, not afraid to ask for help, and communicative and honest with your kids. But at the same time, it is important to have work ambitions (and this is especially for mothers), and support others like you in the process. The more we make being a working parent (and one who is actively involved) the norm, the better off we will all be. So when the going gets tough, just know that you are paving the way for yourself and for others.”
—Vicki Zoll, Senior Director Agile Program Management, Publicis Sapient
